By Maggie Reimherr
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this blog has been silent for a while. We didn’t plan a 7 month hiatus, but at some point I had a strange realization. You know, for two highly dramatic individuals, Derek and I have become... sort of boring.
It first hit me when I found myself planning one on one hang outs with my girlfriends less and less often, more like every 6 weeks or so. My boring life wasn’t exciting enough to generate enough topics of conversation to make higher frequencies of hangs a necessity. For example, I have a friend who’s also happily married. We go on a walk together every so often, catch up on absolutely everything of note that’s happened since the last time we hung out, and wrap things up in less than 2 hours. Is every married person like this?
Don’t get me wrong. I love our life. Derek and I love each other. We go on fun dates, plan great adventures, and spend plenty of time with the people with love. But where is the drama? The intrigue?
As someone who has been an avid consumer of romance novels since I read my first Nicholas Sparks book long before it was age-appropriate, I always anticipated that my life would include romantic gestures and dramatic spectacles. Where are my expensive candlelit dinners at sunset follow by stargazing on a sexy pile of blankets and pillows on the beach? (Maggie, you don’t even live near a beach.) Where is the evil ex-husband because of whom I had to change my identity to avoid him tracking me down and trying to keep us apart? (Again, Maggie, you got married at 23. You don’t have an ex-husband.)
Sure, Derek and I occasionally do romantic things for each other. Usually, these things involve cooking or trying out a new, fancy restaurant. Food is one of the greatest joys of life, let’s be honest. But there is no drama. I don’t have romantic feelings exploding out of me at all times (only sometimes). We’re not facing any major relational obstacles at the moment, and we really haven’t since we got married.
Could it be that real love isn’t chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne or fighting bad guys to be together? Could it be like snuggling on the couch, eating frozen pizza and drinking beer, and watching a movie? Especially when one of us is super reluctant about watching *another* action movie but gives in to because the other person reeeeeeally wants to watch it?
I think, probably, yes. And I’ve never been happier. Is this “boring” we’ve been experiencing actually a sign of a healthy relationship?
But anyway, as a blogger, when your life is boring, you’re a little hard pressed to create content. So we took a writing break.
Yes, our life is overall steady and fulfilling. But after several months off, I now realize that we are still bumbling idiots approximately (and generously) 50% of the time. I mean, not too long ago ago Derek had to teach me how to properly do laundry because apparently when you wash everything on warm, that’s, like, bad for your clothes? RIP Derek’s shrunken pants.
Even though we’ve settled into our married life and routine, we still have stories and lessons to share. So we’ve decided to come back!
I’m wary about making promises, but here’s what we’re aiming for: 1 new post a week guaranteed to be filled with either helpful advice or stories about how I’m sometimes a dumbass.
Also, we’re bringing back the good ol’ ‘gram. Follow us on Instagram at @millennialmarriage. Insta-stories of Derek teaching me how to do basic household chores are probably to come.
It feels good to be back.