A Newlywed's Guide to Honeymooning

By Maggie Reimherr (with GIF assistance by Derek)

Our honeymoon was my first international vacation, and I immediately began planning our next vacation, to my frugal husband’s dismay. So while I look on in jealousy at others' honeymoon photos this summer wishing we were still on ours, I’ve compiled my advice to make your honeymoon the best week ever.

1. Stay at an all inclusive resort.

At an all inclusive, you don’t have to do anything normal and unpleasant, like cooking for yourself, cleaning, or fetching your own beverages. That’s all done for you, and it feels like it’s free because you already paid for it months ago.

2. Put your phone away.

Then take it back out occasionally to post an Instagram to make all of your friends at home jealous of your glamorous #vacationlife.


3. Order multiple dishes at each course of your meals.

The portions are tiny, and you already paid for it. You get those three desserts, girl.


4. Don't pay for a touristy excursion. 

We ended up swimming with sea turtles and 400 other tourists in an enclosed area when we could’ve been playing free putt putt and consuming all you can eat mozzarella sticks at the resort.


5. Order room service for #fourthmeal just because you can.

Late night dessert and fries are your God-given right.

6. Keep your room neat.

Nothing kills a relaxed vacation vibe like walking into your room and seeing your own wet swimsuits and towels strewn about.

7. Take advantage of the onsite entertainment.

We saw The Revenant at our resort (much to my chagrin) and then stuck around at the theater for a live Beatles cover show (much to my utter joy and happiness).

8. Splurge for a couples' massage sometime during the first few days.

After all of the wedding festivities, you're going to need some total relaxation. 

9. Drink your weight in fruity cocktails. 

Your resort's "drink of the day" is your friend. Blue raspberry mojitos? Yes. Berry-cinnamon margaritas? What? Yes.

10. Make googly eyes at your spouse for a week straight because you're honeymooners.

After you get back, you’re just boring married people, so stop being gross. (Just kidding. Make googly eyes at each other all the time. I do.)

(Gifs from giphy.com)