By Maggie Reimherr
Hi, my name is Maggie Reimherr, and I am the laziest person in the world.
No, really, I'm not kidding.
Derek and I recently had a *small* argument about how I'm in a life stage where I'm not interested in doing anything that I don’t specifically want to do. A short list of things I've put off during this life stage because they would cause me minor inconvenience:
- Cancelling an unused credit card.
- Getting a Georgia driver’s license. I lived here for 4 months and drove with a Mass license every day before I switched it, plz don't tell the cops.
- Registering the car in Georgia. Again, 4 months… oh, and now that I’ve changed it over, I still have a front license plate from Massachusetts on the car because I forgot about it and can’t be bother to learn how to use power tools to take it off.
- Confirming that I am Derek’s dependent (offensive) so I can be on his health insurance.
- Paying 3 traffic tickets I got from the world’s meanest New York State trooper. I have hexed him many times in my mind.
- Canceling my Fabletics membership. Okay, I've been putting this off for 2 years.
- Making a dentist appointment.
- Cleaning the bathroom (why is it constantly getting dirty tho).
- Returning our Comcast equipment from when we cut cable.
- Writing for the blog for 2 months when I promised 2 posts a week henceforth in my last post… but hey, I’m back now!
Things I have been doing:
- Ordering my groceries online. Thanks, Amazon Fresh!
- Eating out approximately 4 times a week (to be fair, I think this is less than the average millennial).
- Reading a lot of books.
- Relaxing with my new neck and shoulder massager.
- Watching The Bachelorette and Big Brother like it's my second job. I listen to recap podcasts too. You are welcome to judge me.
- Doing one of those creepy sheet face masks at least once a week.
Does any of this sound familiar to anyone? Congrats. You are as lazy as I am.
No, I haven’t neglected work. But I have neglected actual responsibilities outside of work that have hit our bank account and hit Derek’s confidence in my ability to G.S.D. (get sh!t done). It started with a few gentle conversations about me needing to be productive outside of my 8:30-5:30 work schedule. Then it turned into sideways comments: “So. Are we just done with the blog forever or something?” And finally, Derek hit a breaking point. It came in the form of 2 bills in one day for things that I’d forgotten to return/cancel. That’s the thing about being married: your laziness doesn’t just affect you. Bummer.
Sometimes, I just wanna be a sloth. But oftentimes, I don’t have that option. I love getting home from work and having no obligations stretching before me until my 10:30 bedtime. But laziness has its consequences:
- Bills for Comcast equipment that you have lying around your apartment because you forgot to return it. Take it from me, friends: just go to the UPS Store.
- Interest charges on credit cards you *swore* you had on auto-pay.
- Cavities. (Note to self: you still need to make that dentist appointment!!!)
Derek implored me to please, for goodness’ sake, make a to do list. At first I fought back: "I have a to do list in my head!!!" But that wasn't really working. So I made my list in that handy Notes app on my phone. I got my new driver’s license, I registered the car, I cancelled my Massachusetts insurance, and I returned the Comcast junk. I still don’t know if it’s actually possible to cancel a Fabletics membership. Help.
I’ve found that a productive Maggie is a better Maggie. Sometimes there are things on the to do list that are outrageously annoying. No, I did not want to go sit at a Georgia Department of Revenue office for an hour and wind up getting on the phone with my insurance company to have them FAX (it’s 2017!!! What r u doing, State of Georgia??!) a copy of my policy over to a government office. But I did it. And you know what? Getting it done felt good.
Sometimes, it’s okay to be lazy. Set aside a few nights a week for Netflix binges or power-reading books or whatever your heart desires. But when you’re lazy for a months’-long stretch, things start to fall apart. It puts strain on a marriage. Sorry, Derek.
My advice: don’t be like me! Get organized before you get an avoidable bill in the mail from Comcast (happy ending: it got refunded after I returned the stuff). Make a list, and stop. freaking. procrastinating.
And with that, I have completed my first blog post in almost 2 months. I’m also using the Notes app in my phone to jot down ideas for more. See? I’m getting better already!